Recently on “Wait, So is this a night out together?” we’re accompanied by Autostraddle CEO and

L Term

expert
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. You got that right! This episode is about lesbian interconnectivity — connecting with friends’ exes, pals starting up with this exes, therefore the society produced by what crisis.

Come for any news, stay your emotional running. And before that enjoy a casino game that tests Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking wouldn’t.)

Thank you so much for all your good opinions after our premiere! For those who haven’t yet give consideration to giving us a rating or test!


PROGRAM NOTES

+ Five years ago Riese build an
Old Hollywood chart
that is the intersection of all of the my passions.

+ Here’s
the article
I reference in which We mention hooking up with my roommates.

+ My crush of week Mj Rodriguez circulated a songs video on her song
“something you should state”
!

+ As somebody who has merely seen a small number of attacks of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush associated with the week C.C. Babcock was surprising to me if it proved she and Niles commonly both homosexual. (Christina tells me they essentially nevertheless are.)



Drew:

I would end up being extremely great with it present. I’d never ever add some other person without their unique permission. Although idea of everytime someone was actually like, “concur that you might be connected to me personally,” I’d wind up as, “Yeah, it’s the existence I’ve stayed. I don’t care about.” Is that weird? Is the fact that an issue?


Christina:

No, as if I found myselfn’t, I would feel terrible not. I might be like, “Wait, I’m not sleeping?”


Theme song performs


Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.


Christina:

Hi, I Am Christina.


Drew:

And this is

Wait, So Is This A Date?


Christina:


Hold Off, Is It A Date?

is actually an Autostraddle podcast asking the big questions. To start with, is-it a romantic date? Just what are dates? That times? Can we like times? They are the form of questions that people answer on this right here extremely specialist and beautiful podcast.


Drew:

I am Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.


Christina:

I’m called Christina Tucker. I am additionally an author at Autostraddle. I’m a loud queer on the internet. I’m recovering at explaining me as an author and, famously, a lesbian. Which is you. That is which we’re.


Drew:

Yeah. So our very own main topic this week is The Chart.


Christina:

I recently thought it needed a sting. I don’t know. That felt actually remarkable, but i do believe it needed it.


Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, please. Thank-you, thanks a lot. No, no, no. The most effective amount of crisis.


Christina:

Thanks a lot.


Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re speaking about lesbian interconnectivity.


Christina:

Everyone loves that expression since it appears like you should resume the lesbians. It sounds like the connection to the internet isn’t operating.


Drew:

Yes. it is extremely advanced, extremely innovative, additionally has been around since there’s been lesbians, In my opinion.


Christina:

Yeah. I believe scholars would say after they found initial lesbian fossils, they found a data alongside ones created to the mud. And I genuinely believe that’s exactly what that film concerns, right? It’s about the data? That film with Kate Winslet as well as the mud fossils?


Drew:


Ammonite?


Christina:

Yeah, that is what it is more about.


Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

was about cavern women. I would watch that lesbian film.


Christina:

Well, when I have not seen it, I’m going to bravely point out that it actually was. Cool.


Drew:

Yeah. Because it’s like there is numerous lesbian period pieces, but we’ve never ever eliminated right back that far. And I believe it’s the perfect time we would.


Christina:

Let’s merely hold taking it further back in its history.


Drew:

Before we become to your major topic, you’re nevertheless learning you. And I also believed it would be fun to tackle a game where you men could truly get to know Christina. So all of our icebreaker for this week is actually a little video game that we call “Would U-Haul.”


Christina:

I will be, again, therefore stressed about this. This might you should be how I come inside game. This might be my online game mindset, a tiny bit high key, just a little stressed. Which is okay. We are all understanding.


Drew:

In my opinion that is fantastic. I believe that move you to more vulnerable, maybe.


Christina:

Among my favorite thoughts.


Drew:

Simply a horror, only a severe horror. Therefore the method in which “Would U-Haul” really works is actually i will explain a scenario. Let us call-it Christina lover fiction. And I’m browsing pause after each and every small section to get love, “Okay, Christina, i am aware you have never ever stayed with a partner, do not want to accept somebody. But under these scenarios, would U-Haul?”


Christina:

And I will sometimes state yes or I’ll state, “I’m all set.”


Drew:

If you don’t — really, we are going to see here. But I’m thrilled. In my opinion I maybe damaged the code.


Christina:

You damaged the signal? I am excited.


Drew:

Let’s find out how very long this requires. If in case you never perform, i do believe you win? I’m not sure exactly how you’ll find champions right here.


Christina:

I’m not sure there exists winners inside game of U-Hauling.


Drew:

Well, I don’t know any time you’ll go along with that after this. So I’m going to get going.


Christina:

Fair sufficient.


Drew:

Okay. Therefore, Christina.


Christina:

Drew.


Drew:

You’re at your friend’s marriage. Despite the multitude of romcoms you have soaked up, you did perhaps not go to this marriage considering you’d meet any person because, well, this isn’t a romcom. This is basically the genuine and regular longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You’re taking the assigned seat as they are glancing at the cellphone whenever you realize a lady at your dining table is wanting at you. She introduces by herself as your friend’s previous baby-sitter. She actually is stayed a pal in the family, but she does not truly know anyone there. She seems like mid-forties and also a striking angular face. You begin chatting. She offers to produce a drink. And when she gets up, you realize she actually is six feet high, 6′ 3″ in heels. Which means you know very well what? I am simply probably stop there and start to become like, at this stage, would U-Haul?


Christina:

I am fascinated. I’m fascinated because i may get put only at that marriage. But to date I am not U-Hauling anywhere.


Drew:

Cool. That’s entirely fair. Entirely reasonable. Okay. So you spend the entire marriage getting to know one another. There is just an immediate spark and instant biochemistry. And certainly, you will do connect plus the gender is actually amazing.


Christina:

Tight.


Drew:

And so this wedding was in Northern Ca. And so you both extend your own remains for a few days to fuck and explore and eat at restaurants and shag. While offer to separate the price of the now joint room, but she laughs you off and it is want, “Obviously perhaps not, honey.” And so the after that 3 days tend to be miraculous. You are feeling your walls tumbling all the way down. You’re slipping quicker than you actually ever have. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

So simply for quality’s benefit, I’m having a hard time imagining a world in which I took three shock times from try to go out with individuals i actually do maybe not know. That seems bonkers. But if i did so, great for me personally. But i am simply not U-Hauling at this stage. It will be a no.


Drew:

Great. Okay. That is good. You merely found. I get it. I have it. Okay.


Christina:

Thanks a lot a great deal.


Drew:

So she returns to nyc and also you return to Philadelphia.


Christina:

That is where I stay.


Drew:

And you are texting all the time. This is where you live as well as being where this woman lives. And you are texting everyday while see each other several times per month. She’s extremely active with her task, but she actually is quick purchasing you a train ticket to arrive see the girl and remain at her breathtaking brownstone in Fort Greene. And six months pass. And another evening when you are over to supper, she asks you to definitely relocate with her. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

And go on to Nyc? I do not really like ny. No, I am not transferring in the 6 months mark. I’m not performing that, no.


Drew:

Okay, okay. Completely, entirely, completely. Wow. Okay. And that means you keep dating long-distance. She knows that you’ll need some time the woman is ready to wait a little for you. Even more several months pass. Its today already been over a-year. The landlord tells you they are offering your house to a developer that’s setting up apartments, you cannot renew it. You should get a hold of a new location. Your own now girlfriend informs you that no pressure, but her offer nonetheless stands. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Okay. At this point, i might U-Haul for two explanations.


Drew:

Yay! Fine. Kindly tell us.


Christina:

Mostly, in a global wherein my property manager offered the house to build up it, my personal landlord happens to be my personal closest friend, so appears like some thing went wrong within our friendship. And that I should merely leave Philadelphia anyhow. Of course I have to go in with my girl over right here, that appears okay. That’s fine. Totally good. But yeah, I think i would need an external energy like a mean property owner.


Drew:

That is therefore — fine. I did so think you’d have to require casing in order to get there, thus I’m happy We realized that.


Christina:

Yeah. Which is just what actually has to affect myself 1st.


Drew:

Really, i am glad to know what it does take. Thus theoretically, if perhaps you weren’t kicked away, how much cash more hours?


Christina:

Honestly, that could have gone on for a long period. Philly and New York aren’t also that not each other. I acquired area over here. We’re moving back and forth. We’re having memories. I could have try to let that roll for a long period until i suppose Shoshana becomes the worst individual i understand.


Drew:

I didn’t realize that Shoshana possessed your property. Really, there you are going.


Christina:

There we get. Wow, which was thrilling.


Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.


Christina:

I am pressured, to-be obvious.


Drew:

And that I’m happy that I’m sure… possibly if you’re ever before, anytime anyone’s ever internet dating you and desires you to move around in, perhaps your own sweetheart told Shoshana to sell the home in the interest of your connection.


Christina:

Truthfully the fastest method — some body would only have to talk to Shoshana and start to become want, “merely kick their .” And then she’d resemble, “Yeah, positive. Naturally.” That would be how it occurred, although she did not offer the house. Somebody would just be like, “are you able to just kick her away thus she’ll just conquer it and move in with me?” And she’d state yes. One hundred percent she would do that. That is what friendship is actually.


Drew:

I favor that.


Christina:

Yeah, which is really breathtaking.


Drew:

Really, i’m like we learned much in regards to you.


Christina:

Thanks A Lot. I’m like We learned a large number about myself personally, also. Threat of homelessness is truly the matter that helps to keep me moving in any scenario, i suppose. Wow.


Drew:

Well, that is fantastic.


Christina:

That has been actually fascinating. I am equally thrilled to go into our major sector because I think writing about lesbian connectivity because of this guest, with this special visitor, i do believe it will likely be amazing, Drew. Just how are you currently feeling?


Drew:

I am so excited. This might be specialized. And by that, What i’m saying is an

L Word

specialist, but in addition a small amount of a specialized from inside the topic available.


Christina:

In my opinion two things may be true, my buddy. I do believe a couple of things could be genuine indeed. Will we need to present our very own visitor or will we desire our visitor introducing themselves?


Drew:

I’d love our guest to introduce herself.


Christina:

Guest.


Drew:

I will declare that our guest is the one and only Riese Bernard.


Christina:

Guest, talk.


Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. And is odd becoming the visitor!


Christina:

Yeah, truly.


Riese:

I got never to say everything. I did not even exercise. I did state things. I got to stay right here quietly.


Christina:

And you had been truly brave. Along with your faces were appreciated.


Riese:

Thank you such.


Christina:

Though this really is obviously an audio medium, i’d like all of our audience to find out that Riese had been producing some very nice response faces during “Would U-Haul.”


Riese:

There is different ways is heard. Do you know what What i’m saying is? That’s what i say. I will be the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And I’m in addition on an undefeated kickball group. And that’s me. We have your dog known as Carol. And I also have outdated men and women.


Christina:

Congrats regarding kickball!


Riese:

Thank you. I have been involved with individuals.


Christina:

Great. Loving that. Which is fantastic to bring for this, this here matchmaking podcast. That’s excellent.


Riese:

Yeah. I think that… can there be anything?


Drew:

No, i do believe that is fantastic, Riese.


Christina:

What you may should discuss.


Riese:

I enjoy raspberries, the fruit raspberries, and private pools.


Christina:

As opposed to…


Riese:

You Realize an individual goes like…


Drew:

Its like when you blow. Yeah.


Christina:

Oh. Those are gross, thus I merely exhausted all of them from my personal head.


Riese:

Yeah. That is certainly all.


Christina:

Great.


Drew:

Really, we immediately considered you with this topic.


Christina:

That is correct.


Drew:

Because first of all, clearly, queer females and non-binary folks in lesbian community happen like, I’m not sure, making love with folks whom their friends experienced intercourse with since well before

The L Term

was actually ever before a set. But I do feel like

The L Term

solidified a specific cultural notion of the information with Alice Pieszecki. And so I felt like you would have lots of understanding of this subject.


Riese:

It’s genuine. Two of the people, I would like to say, of

The L Keyword

had this actual chart of them and their friends they certainly were drawing about wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, i believe, was one among them. She talked to us about it, which they had constructed this. Because clearly, everybody for the reason that creator’s room had banged others inside the publisher — you are sure that, together with prolonged web of the generation of lesbians in L. A.. And they also saw can they certainly were like, “let us put it in the show.” And a few of those are on the chart. Like, one particular exactly who … like, actual folks are on the data as a tale.


Christina:

That is wonderful. That is how you understand you have made it.


Riese:

Is not that pretty?


Christina:

That will be thrilling personally.


Riese:

And so if you haven’t observed

The L Term,

to begin with, congrats. Second, it becomes the centerpiece of just one in our direct figure, Alice’s, apartment. She’s got every thing over the woman wall. And in addition it could be the title of a web page which they began called ourchart.com that flopped. And the idea … and it’s really inside pilot, i believe. In the first event, Alice starts writing about how everyone’s linked, because everybody’s installed with this person. And I also can hook up you, as if you’re probably at the most two levels away from me. And therefore was actually correct. Like, despite having Dana, who had very limited knowledge because she had been a closeted golf user, they nevertheless managed to connect the girl. And that is actuality since it is genuine.


Christina:

Which is tradition. Yeah. That’s what tradition appears like.


Riese:

That is culture. That is queer society right there. And now everyone tends to make their maps.


Christina:

Yeah. To ensure that would definitely be my personal next concern, was have actually either people made a chart? Because Really don’t believe We have, and I am sorts of now considering like, that was this a year ago resting within my home for easily failed to create a chart? Like, that was the purpose of that, really?


Riese:

I believe I’ve completed it during my log, just like like … Because I like, I’m not sure, organizing information, I guess, as an idea exercise.


Christina:

Yeah, i do believe that is in addition exactly why I am surprised that You will findn’t accomplished it. I prefer the thought of categorizing situations.


Riese:

Correct. Yeah. Since it is interesting. I’m not sure exactly why it is therefore interesting, however it is. It’s interesting becoming like, wow, each one of these people, they may be linked. It really is untamed.


Drew:

On program, when ourchart.com is actually designed, they will have an authentic chart that people can truly add material. And I also feel just like something that you joked pertaining to on

To L and Right Back,

now people state constantly is a lot like, when this existed in a genuine way, nobody would put their particular brands about it, no-one would feel at ease getting their own names onto it.


Riese:

You would.


Drew:

I’d. I’d end up being very great along with it existing. I might never include another person without their authorization. Nevertheless the idea of want, anytime someone had been like, “Confirm that you are attached to me personally,” I’d resemble, “Yeah, it is the existence I stayed. Really don’t worry about.” Is unusual? Is an issue?


Christina:

No, since if I found myselfn’t, I would personally feel poor not being … i might end up like, “Wait, I’m not on it? Like, I’m sorry, exactly what?” No, that would actually deliver me into a light ethical panic about who Im as you, what I’m performing. Are I interesting? Carry out individuals {like
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